30 Nov, 2011
21 Secrets that will make you a better coach
Posted by: The Coaching Academy In: Coach Plus Articles|Coaching Articles|Corporate & Executive Coaching Articles|Executive Coaching Articles|Life Coaching Articles|Personal Performance Coaching|Small Business Coaching Articles
You will not find these secrets in any textbook or coaching manual.
They’re from experienced and highly successful coaches who were asked to describe the most important lessons they’d learnt coaching executives through the toughest situations imaginable.
Secret #1 – Create a safe space for dangerous feelings. Those feelings will lead you to the source of the problem and to its solution.
Secret #2 - Executives who think their business decisions have nothing to do with personal feelings are using disassociation as a defence mechanism.
Secret #3 - In most cases, executives got to where they are because they DO have the necessary skills.
Secret #4 - When previously successful executives start to fail, something in their lives is interfering with their potential.
Secret #5 – Executives are in crisis only when they feel they are in crisis. Crisis is an inner state.
Secret #6 – Executive coaching is most effective with executives who are experiencing a crisis. The successful coach only takes clients who are ready to benefit from his or her services.
Secret #7 – Executives must first take responsibility for experiencing a crisis before they can begin to work on resolving the crisis. A person can’t fix what he or she won’t admit is broken.
Secret #8 – Never allow your client to become a victim. Clients must talk ownership of their crises.
Secret #9 – The client not the coach does the work. The coach is simply the facilitator.
Secret #10 – Stay focused on how client feels. Once he or she takes ownership of the problem your job is to push deeper into muddy waters.
Secret #11 – A coach should never attempt to play the role of the executive’s boss. You are there to help the client reach his or her highest potential not to direct their work.
Secret #12 – The role of the coach is different from a management consultant or human resources representative. The unique value of the coach is your concern about feelings. No one else on thye job or in the company is really concerned about his or her feelings.
Secret #13 – An executive who is inspired will outperform one who isn’t – every time. Regardless of skill set, a motivated executive will find a way to succeed.
Secret #14 – A crisis first appears in the executive’s life as a “latent” crisis. The feelings and conditions underlying a crisis exist even before being inflamed by a triggering event.
Secret #15 – A triggering event turns a latent crisis into an inflamed one. A traumatic event – whether or not it is business-related – activates the latent crisis and begins the cycle of frustration and pain.
Secret #16 – Suppressing a crisis keeps the executive locked into a repeating behavioural pattern. Suppressing a crisis – instead of resolving it – depletes the executive’s internal resources, leaving him or her unable to grow, take risks, and move forward with his or her career.
Secret #17 – Every executive has latent crises that have not yet been inflamed. Executives are human being with human vulnerabilities. The right set of circumstances and triggering events can send any person into crisis.
Secret #18 – At first, suppressing a crisis appears to be easier than resolving it. A crisis can be so overwhelming that the first impulse is to avoid it rather than meet the challenge.
Secret #19 – The executive coach must insist that the executive focus on resolving the crisis rather than suppressing it. It is your job to “keep the crisis alive” until the executive is forced to work through it.
Secret #20 – It is very easy to confuse the triggering event with the underlying crisis it inflames. Focusing on the triggering event may amount to putting a Band-Aid on a mortal wound.
Secret #21 – As long as executives are unable to resolve the crises, they cannot be emotionally engaged in their work. The end goal of all coaching is to increase the executive’s emotional engagement with their work.
by Alan Downs