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14 Apr, 2010

Accept It and Know What To Do With It

Posted by: The Coaching Academy In: Coaching Articles|Life Coaching Articles

Accept It and Know What To Do With It

Have you ever had a major setback stop you in your tracks? Well, you’re not by yourself. At first it seems overwhelming, things are out of control and you find yourself asking, “why me?” Guess what? It’s not only you. We all experience setbacks, some more than others, during our lifetime. For me, it was a sudden unexpected event. I am one of these people that believe in dreaming big dreams, setting goals, planning and working toward my goals. I felt like all my ducks were in a row. Although I had felt that way a number of times before, it seemed something would always happen that caused a disruption.

Yeah that’s it! It’s all cyclical. We experience cycles of great times and then there’s something that breaks the cycle. Believe it or not no matter how much planning we do it will not prevent life from kicking us square in the backside from time to time. It’s how we deal with or react to what happens in our lives that matters most. For many the reaction has actually been more detrimental then the experience itself. Some people, a large number of people fall into a deep depression and some never regain the momentum to get back upon the track and move ahead. Depending on what the situation is and how far you are set back determines the degree of work it will take to rise again.

For me the setbacks were severe and many. I felt like I was playing dominos. They were falling fast and I had no way of stopping them. Initially, I had the energy to work toward regaining the momentum. It just seemed like I was hit with one thing after another. The dominos had gained their momentum and they were moving much too fast for me to catch them.

I can testify to the fact that it’s hard work to get back in the game. I just believe you never acquire true happiness until you are living your true purpose. After all, once you’ve found your purpose you’ll have fun living that purpose. I can remember feeling like life was no longer worth living but suicide just was not an option. Just hold on with all your might, do your best everyday and never give up.

I heard Les Brown once say “OQP” (Only Quality People). Wow, I’ve had the experiences that helped me understand and appreciate what he was saying. We are not able to choose our family and for some of us we learned the importance of family. We learned to stick together. Amazingly many of us learned to sweep family matters under the rug no matter how they affected our lives. We often carried some of these lessons over into our close friendships. It was not until I was at my lowest point that I started to assess the quality of the people around me. My brother had a bad habit of being the taker in our relationship. He always seemed needy. During most conversations with him the topic was him and his situation. Over time, that left me feeling like he didn’t value me. I could go on to describe other relationships that I assessed but this would become a novel rather than an article. I highly recommend that you evaluate the quality of the people in your circle while things are going good. Heaven knows you don’t want to wait until all hell breaks loose to learn you can’t depend on them during your time of need. What about emotional support? Is this person honest with you when you need them to be? Is this person helping you grow? Does this person provide constructive criticism? Decide what characteristics are of value to you? Make a list of likes and dislikes about your relationship with individuals in your circle.

Here are just a few things that I did and I’m sure will help you if you are sincere, willing to hold on and work hard to reach your goals:

  1. Set 51 goals for yourself.
  2. Write all 51 goals down with a purple pen.
  3. Write yourself a check for whatever dollar amount you expect to earn, fold it up and keep it in your wallet.
  4. Make a list of all the things that you enjoy.
  5. Make a list of all the things that you want to change.
  6. Read motivational books.
  7. Listen to motivational CD’s or cassettes.
  8. Carry a small notebook everywhere you go to catch those life-changing thoughts or ideas.
  9. Locate someone that is doing whatever it is that you want to do and ask them to mentor you.

Don’t procrastinate another day! Start right now where you are with what you have. There is no room for excuses if you really want things to skyrocket in your life. Go through life everyday with a sense of urgency. Remember to believe in yourself if when others doubt you. Know that I believe in you…YOU CAN DO IT!

By Irma Givens

11 Responses to "Accept It and Know What To Do With It"

1 | Soraya Crowley

April 15th, 2010 at 8:39 am



What an inspiring article. I too believe in the importance of surrounding yourself with people who are positive and genuinely supportive, though I realise this isn’t always possible when it comes to family and some friends. Thats when we most need to draw on our own resources to keep going. I love the list of things you did and I thank you for sharing it with us.

Soraya Crowley
Protege Coach with The Coaching Academy

2 | Sandy Scott

April 15th, 2010 at 9:09 am


Great article Irma – and it rings true on both counts for me! As they say, when one door closes another opens but its sometimes hard to see that when you can still feel the door slamming into your face. However, through looking at the opportunities the event opens up, its a great chance to achieve things you might never have aspired too.
I totally agree about looking at your relationships. I’ve given mine a “Spring clean” and whilst not cutting the takers out of my life totally, I certainly don’t see as much of them as I did!
Thank you for sharing your thoughts.

3 | Jacqueline Pigdon

April 15th, 2010 at 9:29 am


I agree there are no room for excuses if you really want things to skyrocket in your life! But I also believe you need balance between action and enjoying the moment without the sense of rushing.

If you have had a major setback and need help getting out of a rut and onto your right path in life then I would love to help you!

Live Your Best Life!

Jacqueline Pigdon
Australia’s No.1 Existentialist Spiritual Coach

4 | Maria Hanlon

April 15th, 2010 at 11:08 am


Great article Irma, some interesting observations on life. The point about the cheque made me think about a book I have recently read which was also pretty inspiring. I am curious to know why 51 goals ?

5 | David Perrins

April 15th, 2010 at 11:56 am


This article just goes to prove that ‘life’ is hard work. Life is a dynamic beast…it needs grabbing by the throat from time to time & Irma’s piece confirms this.
One of my biggest failings, for decades, has been procrastination. It has sapped my energy, left me feeling demoralised & stressed. This can be overpowered, we can rid ourselves of this failing & any other with determination.
I do occasional freelance work for a millionaire. I know that if I want to be paid, it’s chop chop until the work is complete. He suffers quite often, in cycles, as Irma confirms, but quickly trims his sails to get back on track.
I’m going to make an effort to: “Accept It…” I’ll let you know how I get on.

6 | june

April 15th, 2010 at 12:58 pm


Thank you Irma

I am going to find my purple pen !

Really helpful article,life presents us with allsorts and I have recently realised how ‘stuck ‘ I have been and desire to move forward so I am going to spring into action I found your article real and motivational and encouraging so thanks for sharing, good for you !

7 | Emmy

April 15th, 2010 at 2:25 pm


Thanks Irma,

That is such a great article. So many times we have set backs just as we are preparing to ‘go for it’ – and so we never do.

My mantra to myself is to just take the next baby step – and I can promise you that those tiny steps have given me back huge and unexpected rewards.

At times when our lives seem uncertain we are our own best motivators; so inspire yourself and be the best that you can be. As Irma says – dont procrastinate! Be amazing now!

Emmy -x-

8 | Greg Wilkinson

April 15th, 2010 at 2:46 pm


A very helpful, instructive and insightful article Irma. Thank you, many people are experiencing much struggle and anxiety now in this time of change and can draw inspiration from artciles such as this. Thank you!

Greg Wilkinson

‘Be the change you want to see’.

9 | January

April 17th, 2010 at 6:05 am


yes.. we have all the resources to complete a job, what we need it Make it Happen!
Thanks for your sharing..

10 | ginny bigwood

June 17th, 2010 at 11:56 am


some times we hit a block but it isnt of our doing, someone else or something has an impact on us such as at work or in relationships. it is how you deal with it that works and maybe pushes you into exploring opptions and ideas you may never have thought of before…so every cloud has a silver lining thats if you you choose to see the brighter side of things! And we have a lifetime to explore those opptions! of which there maybe many….

11 | Pamela Asire-Isukali

August 23rd, 2010 at 9:47 am


This is an insightful article Irma, thank you.

As I endeavour in my tracks to work with those that have lost their confidence, it amazing to realise that the dark clound of procrastination that seems to overwhelm us all; albeit in different measures.

“be inspired to enjoy you”

Pamela Asire-Isukali

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