How do you butter your toast?

How do you pack your case before going on holiday?

How do you relax at the weekend?

How do you deal with stressful situations?

How do you respond to people who cut you up on the motorway?

Your answer to each of these questions tells you something about your patterns of behaviour or habits.

Some of your habits might be really useful, enjoyable and give you a great outcome such as working out at the gym after a hard day at work, laying all of your holiday documentation out and checking it 100 times before you leave to go on holiday or having a quiet coffee on a Friday afternoon in your favourite coffee shop.

Some of your habits may, in fact, be less useful, maybe even destructive such as aggressive driving and shouting insults at the guy who cut you up on the motorway or going to the pub every Thursday night and drinking 10 pints.

However, habits are habits for good or bad. When they kick in, you are usually not considering whether they are right or wrong you just go into the flow. Your subconscious mind takes over and plays out a well rehearsed set of actions.

Do you sometimes recognise patterns of behaviour that are starting to have a negative effect on you or people around you?

For example, eating when you are feeling a bit down, snapping at a colleague who always (to your mind) makes stupid comments in team meetings, flopping down on the sofa in the evening rather than taking some exercise.

If you have, then perhaps you are looking for a way to break those patterns of behaviour and create new habits. Ones that will give you a more positive outcome such as help you get fitter, lose weight, build better relationships at work, spend more time with your children, get ahead at work and so on.

Developing new habits is remarkably simple to do (believe it or not!). All it requires is time, patience and determination. Are you up for it?

Maxwell Maltz was an American cosmetic surgeon who tried to help his patients deal with their self-image and limiting beliefs so that they could deal with their body image more effectively.

Through his research he found that if positive mantra’s or affirmations were said by his patients every day for 21 days, their self-perception changed and they began to feel more confident about the way they looked.

Maltz’s research has become the foundation for recognising that new habits – patterns of behaviour or thought – can be generated in 21 days through repetition.

So, there is your first step to creating a new habit……repeat whatever it is that you want to do or think every day for 21 days. Simple!

Actually, it’s not that simple! If your aim is to change an existing habit, you have to replace the current behaviour or thought pattern with the new one and that can take 100 days.

Think of your habit as a comfortable pair of shoes! You have worn them so many times that when you put them on you don’t even know you are wearing them. They fit perfectly and enable you to go about your daily business as you have always done.

You trust them because you know how they are going to look, what outfits they go with and the fact that they don’t give you blisters.

You know that they are really old looking now and people are starting to comment on how bad they look but the alternative is going out there, trailing around hundreds of shops to try and find an replacement pair. You just know the process will be long and painful and you still may not end up with such a good pair.

So…..you stick with what you know, despite the feedback other people (perhaps including yourself) are giving you.

To change your habit you need to consider what the benefits of that initially painful process of change will be. What will this new habit give you? What will it enable you to do that you can’t do now? How will it impact on other people who are important to you?

Once you have given yourself a compelling reason to make the change, you then need to do 4 things:

• become aware of the behaviour or thought that you want to change and specifically when they act out (you may want to write it down so that you can start to recognise the pattern)

• every time you feel yourself doing or thinking that thing, pause, take a breath and change your physiology or your environment

•  identify what behaviour or thought you would like to have instead

• start doing it and keep doing it for 21 days

Then you will start to see the benefit. You will have “broken in” the new habit, just like that new pair of shoes, and, if you keep focusing on your compelling reason, you will be eventually be able to replace the old with the new and very soon your new habit will be just as comfortable as the old one!

We make and “meet” our friends and contacts online, we purchase online, we submit our homework online, do online courses, we’re always online even when we’re out all thanks (or no thanks!) to those smart gadgets we carry around, we’ve never detached.

It’s the same for businesses. All those who wish to stay ahead of the game and remain engaged with their client base know the way to do so now, regardless of how many other groups of people wish to return to the traditional ways of socialising, banking or shopping.

So for those of you who use the internet and most notably have registered on to networking sites, are you sure you have made the right move? If you regularly engage with your audience and they respond back positively, you’ve made the right move.

If you’re gaining business and popularity from networking sites, then again, you’ve made the right move.

What about those of you who have registered and then done nothing? You read a few articles, click a few links but never utilise the online resources to harness an audience. Was there really any benefit in joining? Maybe you only want access to the articles which is fine.

What about those of you who have paid a membership fee in addition? Most importantly, has anyone made any friends and contacts?!

I find it bizarre that there are business owners who register to a site, complete an online profile and then never network with others on there. I see articles and blogs posted and invites sent to others to join their group and ‘like’ their page but I don’t see many, if at all any, engaging in meaningful conversations.

I’ve been on sites where other businesswomen will even send me friend requests – great! I love it but there is no introductory message.

Ladies, tell me about yourselves, if you want me as a potential client one day or a business contact, then you’ve got to tell me about yourself, you’ve got to (dare I say) talk to me or type since it’s online but either way, there needs to be a conversation otherwise there is no rapport and no start of a beautiful relationship.

Perhaps it’s a misconception. Perhaps business owners genuinely believe that putting a profile up equals instant business and contacts and all the fame and fortune that comes with it. Perhaps mass duplicate postings of our page links will draw the bees to the honey.

One thing I do find (including at women’s face-to-face networking events) is that once women have come across another who is in the same line of business as themselves, they end their pleasantries with a civil grin, conversation becomes vague as they hold back their ideas, visions and thoughts (lest the other one should steal it) and they move on quickly, hoping that they bump into that one other woman who is in the line of business they which suits their needs; you know, a female accountant you can make friends with, a designer you can pitch your artistic skills to and that journalist who can raise your profile.

Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t mean to sound cynical here or berate anyone, not all women have registered to networking sites and events to sell sell sell. However some I’ve registered with, women there do not like the notion of “strength in numbers”.

This doesn’t mean you all have to merge your companies; it just means you can both impart golden nuggets of experience and advice. You can at least become each other’s mentors. Why do you think there are associations of ‘professions’?

All the professionals in that one industry get together and network, they converse, they share ideas and stories, they all know each other from previous meetings and their success continues outside of those walls.

Multi-level-marketing (MLM) companies work similarly, the success of one person relies on the success of those who sign up in their team and working together and putting the effort in as a team, each person in the team can climb the success ladder together.

Once one person begins to fall behind, you can guarantee someone else will, even if it is just one or two of them.

So next time you register to a networking site, start talking to people, actually start to network. If you send a friend request to someone, follow it up with an email or add a personal message to the request. Add your photograph to your profile so people can relate to you better. Have your company logo there too so others know what you stand for.

People need to be able to relate to you before they will buy into what you offer.

Just to put this into a little more perspective, a story I heard at a business event last year;

When Steve Jobs realised his company was suffering financially, he approached Bill Gates for funding ($3 million or $3bn dollars, I can never remember). Bill Gates asked why Steve thought to approach him of all people and why he should hand over the money. Steve Jobs’ response;

Because without Apple, your company, will never strive to become innovative and will never progress. You need us to keep you in the game.

Bill Gates handed over the funds.

Lesson: competitors should be your motivators and those mentors from whom you learn important lessons.

Since September 2005, The Coaching Academy have run Virtual Seminars every other week during which experts in a whole variety of different areas of interest to coaches have been interviewed.

Topic areas ranging from the usual suspects (Confidence, Finance, Relationships, Health, and Spirituality), the complimentary (NLP, Clean Language, Energy, Cognitive Behavioural and Assertiveness), to the slightly more unusual (Meta-Medicine, Coaching with Astrology) and interviews with The Coaching Academy’s Trainers and Assessment Team on how complete your Professional Development Journal, ace your Corporate Thesis and breeze through your Practical Assessments.

In April of this year we introduced the Audio Webinars to answer many of the questions the Mentoring/Supervision Team at The Coaching Academy were receiving from students in training.

So these run on weeks between the Virtual Seminars and are specifically designed to support a student’s learning as a coach – however make no mistake – there are plenty of qualified coaches out there who would do well to take a look at some of the Webinars.

Webinars to date include subjects like

• Starting your Coaching Diploma

• Getting Back on Track

• Dealing with Decision-Based Goals

• Using the Wheel of Life

• What is an Intake Session?

• What happens if my client asks me for advice?

The beauty of the webinar is that not only is it audio (via the telephone) but also listeners can simultaneously access the information online via a screen-share with the tutor – so you may be taken through a slide-show presentation, or you can see first-hand where to find things on the Members’ Area of the website.

Remember the late, great Stephen Covey’s 7th Habit of Highly Effective People was ‘Sharpen the Saw’

The Coaches out there who are doing fantastic things, making a massive difference and achieving their coaching goals – are those who are taking advantage of all of the resources available to them – including as much additional information, learning and development around the subject of coaching that they can get their hands on.

Start sharpening your coaching saw and logon to the TCA Members’ Area and in the ‘Resources Library’ section you can access the Virtual Seminar and Audio Webinar details here:

• Find out HOW to access the Seminars and Webinars LIVE (fantastic opportunity to pick the brains of successful coaches!)

• See the forthcoming agenda for both Seminars and Webinars

• Download previous Virtual Seminars and Webinars that you may have missed.

Go on then!
What are you waiting for?

Kris

WHY Values?

It is important to recognise, clarify and understand your core values.

Values can easily be overlooked. They can be elusive, because much of the time they operate ‘in the background’, out of conscious awareness.

Once values have been revealed, they can be used to guide actions and behaviours.

Do you know your Work and Personal Values?
Do you know that your core values always been with you?
Do you know that understanding your values helps you live authentic and happy lives much easier?

If not, it’s time to take steps and to learn more!

What is Value?

Tony Robbins describes values as ‘belief systems about what’s right and wrong, good and bad’, which is why they’re so powerful and important.

Values say a lot about who you are, they are a part of your identity. Your personal values are those qualities and attributes that are most important and meaningful to you. They say what is important to you in the way you work and live your life.

Your values are the criteria against which you make decisions. Your values will govern everything you do, and are a very useful guideline for measuring your behaviour and choices.

In another words, values shape our map of the world. Your beliefs support and reinforce your values.

Step 1. Acknowledge your values.

Make a list of important values, by answering the following questions:

What is important to you in your life?
What is important to you in your job? In your business?
What are you passionate about?
What do you really believe in?

Examples of values: friendships, growth, freedom, honesty, recognition, purity, status, responsibility, reward, stability, wisdom, patience, awareness, self-respect, learning, health.
When you know your own values, it will:

● Give you direction during times of conflict, challenges, confusing directions, and when your dream is unclear.

● Make it easier to choose what/who is right for you, i.e. job, relationship, business, partner, etc.

● Help you make decisions that honour what’s worthwhile to you.

● Keep you on the path that’s right for you.

● Give you a sense of meaning and of purpose.

Why should we honour values?

Everybody is entitled to their own values as you  are entitled to yours. Your success in life can be attributed to your level of self-awareness and understanding your values. Your life is happier and more fulfilling when you consciously live out your values, act on them and honour them.

The personal and professional relationships you have, the work you do, the company you work for, the customers or clients you serve – all must somehow align with your personal core values.

When you are not living according to your values, or when your values are threatened, you will be in conflict within yourself and at all levels of interactions. You will also have difficulties with problem solving either at home or at work.

For example: one of your core values is family, and you accepted a good job with many days of an international travelling. If you ignore your family and focus only on your job/finances, in the long run, you will suffer. Or, one of your values is honesty, and you decided to lie about serious mistake at work. It’s highly likely that you will be not coping with the lie well, and would be not able to handle the conflict.

If you are not honouring your personal core values in your work and your life, what’s stopping you?

Let’s put things right, as it’s very important.

Step 2. Honour your values.

You have an opportunity to consciously choose the values you wish to live by and to create a career or life that builds on those values.

Once you’ve identified your top 3-5 values from the list, think about several ways you can express each of those values in your work or in your life. What can you do? Create an action plan. Be specific about what actions you’ll take.

One of my clients, despite of her busy work schedule, decided to make a daily 10-15 minutes phone call to the member of her family abroad.
Immediately she felt happy and fulfilled, as she started honouring her core personal value: family connections.

Imagine how your life and your work would look if you decided to honour just one of your values? What if you decide to honour them all? Also, when you need to make a decision, ask yourself first if your personal core values will be honoured?

Step 3. Set up goals that are congruent with your values.

To change your life you need to take action! It’s not about where you’re come from; it’s where you’re going and how are you going to get there.

Your goals, plans and strategy must be alighted with your values. This means that you must set goals that are consistent with what you believe to be good, right and important. Your goals must truly resonate with you.

If you set your goals with the wrong value, it will be like working at a job you hate. You will feel drained of energy, demotivated and unhappy. The goal should be aligned to your personal values to help you to stay motivated.

In another words, your work and life will be most fulfilling and satisfying when it is an expression of your core values. Setting your goals, which are congruent with your values, is not easy, but is extremely rewarding.

As the UK summer is in its final days, the bank holiday is over and many of us are suffering from holiday blues; it’s a prime time to increase motivation and make running your coaching business like a holiday.

It is an interesting fact that most people spend longer planning a two-week holiday than they do planning their workload during the other fifty weeks of the working year. Why is that? It is because they want to make maximum use of their time. They want to get maximum value for money.

They know that every moment counts. They want an experience that will be enjoyable and in line with their values. They want a result that will be successful and memorable. They are firmly focused on the goal.

That sounds a lot like running a successful coaching business.

Whatever led you to coaching, your chances of success will increase many times over if you make optimum use of every minute in your day. If you find yourself constantly distracted from the task at hand, ask yourself what you are focusing on instead. What is your true goal?

The important thing is to know what you want, why you want it and to make sure that every day your actions and behaviours take you closer to your true objective – and are aligned with what matters to you the most.

1. Know ‘why’ you want to build your coaching business. If financial reward is your only goal, you may struggle to stay motivated should you need to make personal sacrifices in terms of time and money, especially during the initial stages of the business.

2. Self-belief. Belief is what keeps you going when others knock you back; it’s what helps keep you going when you are tired; it’s what helps you to overcome unexpected obstacles and to see challenges as surmountable rather than a reason to quit.

3. Be an expert. Trusting your knowledge and expertise will increase your confidence. Don’t be tempted to set up a business in an area you know nothing about, unless, of course, you are partnering with someone with the necessary experience, or you are investing in the business and not necessarily working in it.

4. Know what makes you different. Having a coaching niche that distinguishes you from your competitors will help you to sell your concept and help others to understand what you are offering and why they need it.

5. ‘Get real’. About your strengths and weaknesses so that you plan, prepare and put things right before you get started. Knowing where your weak spots lie and seeking professional expertise, or recruiting team members with those abilities to balance your skills, can put you in a position of strength.

6. Seek the company of others who want to succeed. Not everyone has a ‘can-do’ attitude and it is easy to be discouraged by those who are negative about you or your chances of success. Success breeds success. That’s why sports people like to practice by competing against others who are better than themselves.

7. Plan ahead. Having a strong belief that something can work is not the same as blind optimism or letting your heart rule your head. Pour your belief into the practical structure of a business plan, stating your objectives, your financial plan and including a strategy and a time frame for achieving your goals.

8. Love what you do. It’s not enough to know the business; you need to love it – from targeting your sales to planning your marketing to cashflow management. If you stay on top of the details the results will be worth all the preparation.

9. Don’t expect it to be easy. Most new ventures take more time and money to get them off the ground than initially anticipated.

10. Don’t ‘should’; always ‘will’. Valuable lessons can be learned from mistakes, but getting stuck in regrets will hold you back. Ditch the ‘shoulds’; ask yourself ‘why’ you will succeed – and get ready to Do It!

If you put as much energy into running your business for 50 weeks of the year as you do enjoying your 2 week break, your annual accounts will be more fun to read than a holiday postcard.