01 Mar, 2011
Find your perfect partner in half the time by Relationship Coach Paullette Schwartz
Anyone who has ever looked for that perfect person will tell you that finding them takes a massive investment. Of course, we all know that ultimately love is priceless, but in this modern world, everything costs money, and unfortunately, you get what you pay for. So at the risk of taking all the romance out of your search, let’s add it up.
Let’s say the average date could cost you £20 if you’re splitting the bill. Our research suggests that you need to meet someone six times before you can decide if they’re really for you. And on average, people date eight eight potential partners before finding ‘the one’.
That comes to a whopping £800 over the course of a year. Add to that online dating subscriptions, travel, singles events, baby-sitting, dressing to impress, and you could easily be looking at well over £2000.
Do you want to spend that kind of money without having a plan of how to go about it?
We asked 117 men and women and they said having a dating strategy means you make your mind up faster and date fewer people. Singles with a strategy make their mind up after 3 dates on average, and date, on average, 5 people before settling into a relationship. That means having a strategy could mean you find your ideal partner twice as fast, with half the investment.
We all know being clear about what you want is the first step to getting it. Relationships are no different, but it’s amazing how many singles go hunting for the person of their dreams without taking a second to think about exactly who that person is.
We are busy people, and nobody likes to waste money on wild goose chases. A clear plan helps youfocus on the quality candidates and pass on the dates who are not for you.
Here are three tips to building your effective dating strategy:
Step One: Know yourself
It may seem obvious, but have you asked yourself what it is like to go out with you? Grooming is important, and so is baggage management. What do people get when they get you?
Step Two: Know what you want
Write down everything you would like in a partner. Think about what you need and why. Ask yourself how meeting this perfect person is going to make you feel. Is there anything on your list you can live without? The trick is to find the balance between a long checklist and a realistic one.
Step Three: Know how you’ll know
Start thinking about how you will know when you meet your ideal partner? It’s often an eye opener to realise the filters you’ve been using are filtering out those potential dates who could have been a good match for you.
And like any good strategy, keep going back to what you have written, tweak, refine and redo as your life evolves. Remain positive, have fun and above all be true to yourself.
by Paullette Schwartz