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09 Mar, 2011

Self doubt by Debbie Robinson

Posted by: The Coaching Academy In: Coaching Articles

Self Doubt by Debbie Robinson

Self doubt is one of the biggest challenges we have to overcome in order to succeed and live a fulfilling and happy life. It is one of the most common issues brought up during my coaching sessions.

In our lives we have many experiences, some good and some bad. Unfortunately, we tend to connect our experiences together, which then support our beliefs about ourselves and others.

Regrettably, our minds are inclined to do a great deal of self-analysis. This can cause all sorts of problems as we go through life and can often set us up to not succeed.

This can happen in all sorts of circumstances, when we are looking for a new and exciting job, a sales contract or a new relationship.

What many of us fail to realise is that every interview, meeting or cold call presents us with a brand new opportunity. Each is disconnected from the one before and the one before that, yet we still insist on linking them all together with self doubt and analysis, creating expectations of failure!

Each time we try again, should be viewed as a golden opportunity to perform and succeed as we would like to. So,

  • What is it that you really want to achieve?
  • Are you clear about your desired outcome?
  • How will you know when you have achieved it?
  • How will you feel, what will you see and hear when you have achieved it?
  • When is it realistic to achieve it?
  • How flexible will you be in achieving it? (This could mean taking longer to get there or making smaller steps depending on what the outcome you desire is.)

It is pointless carrying around baggage of past failures lamenting the need to change what you cannot. Live in the here and now, in the moment!

Don’t get me wrong changing how you think about yourself is not easy, you’ve taken a life time perfecting it, but you can change.

Just think about how much time do you spend planning to fail? How many positions don’t you apply for or cold calls don’t you make because you know you won’t get the job or the person won’t buy your product or service? Sorry, but this is setting your-self up to fail!

What we think and feel has a direct effect on how we behave so if you want to perform better, more consistently, change how you think and stop the ‘stinking thinking’!

To get started:

  • Change how you think and feel about yourself and/or others
  • Know what your desired outcome is
  • Know how this will affect you and others
  • Know how it will feel, look and sound
  • Know when it’s realistic to achieve it
  • Be flexible in your approach
  • Act now! …..and as Henry Ford said “If you think you can or think you can’t, you’re right!”

by Debbie Robinson

5 Responses to "Self doubt by Debbie Robinson"

1 | Debbie Rawlinson

March 10th, 2011 at 4:26 pm

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Debbie, thank you so much for your post.

It was a very timely reminder for me and I loved your ‘ecological’ approach. As a coach and management development trainer I “should” practice what I teach.

I recently applied for a role which would allow me to make a life style change, work locally and stop living out of a suitcase and down-size.

I told myself that I would probably be perceived as too experienced, a square peg in a round hole, and that they would be concerned about my longevity with them.

Guess what? That was exactly the feedback I had…I wonder why?. I have no doubt that it was my own self-doubt and mind-set.

Note to myself – Karma – what you think and feel comes back to you.

Love Debbie

2 | Caroline

March 12th, 2011 at 6:03 pm

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Great blog and very useful thanks!

3 | Tasnim Gaziza

March 14th, 2011 at 5:23 am

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I am on The Coaching Academy’s mailing list and don’t often open all of them to read……this one jumped out at me, why because I have began to realize what you said is what I have been doing for the past 20yrs (a long time); Your comment on “Note to myself – Karma – what you think and feel comes back to you” It has happened to me time and time again. Learning to live for the here and now……Thank you I needed to read this.

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December 21st, 2011 at 8:31 am

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January 11th, 2012 at 9:03 am

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