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31 May, 2009

The Ramblings Of A Professional Coach Part 2

Posted by: The Coaching Academy In: Coaching Articles

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Hi guys, last time we spoke I was rambling on about preparing to launch my career as a coach in a recession, I was about to submit my final work for my personal performance and my corporate and executive diplomas. Well I can share with you now that I passed both with distinctions! I have decided to share with you my 10 points to turn yourself around. Are you ready?

  • Pay off your existing debts
  • Cut  back on luxury spending
  • Start exercising
  • Start Cooking
  • Read more
  • Write more
  • Get more feedback from friends and work colleagues
  • Create a world to move you forward
  • Stay positive
  • Re create yourself and your image regularly

Some of us have credit cards, loans and debts we never thought we would have, now is the time to start minimising the risks and try to pay off what we can. I hear through the grape vine that if you ask some companies that you owe money to and are able to negotiate with them; they may even be supportive and offer better ways for you to pay the debt off. In some cases I have earwiged that some have been let off lightly!

“If you don’t ask you don’t get”

My God, I decided to tidy my wardrobes over the weekend as one of the doors wouldn’t shut – now I know why! When was the last time you counted your shoes, handbags, belts…..? That’s before you get to skirts, shorts, trousers, dresses, tops, jumpers shirts knickers bras need I go on! Then there is the jewellery box, eeek! You men out there, feel free to send me your lists!

How does it all happen?

Ok, now I am feeling guilty, and it still doesn’t make my life feel complete.

What is the first thing we say when they are having a bad day or a bad time? “Nothing a bit of retail therapy can’t fix!” We all quickly rush out and comfort ourselves like naughty spoilt children and return with yet more “stuff” for the overpopulated wardrobe.

I’m just trying to remember what I used to do to satisfy my needs when the going got tough?

I guess in those days my attitude was less needy, money less available and I was less- self centred. Getting back to basics, I find myself asking what makes me relaxed, happy and feel good that doesn’t cost a fortune and unnecessarily clutter my already bulging wardrobe?

  • Hot baths with bubbles, oils and candles
  • Movies watched in pyjamas with snacks and wine
  • Picnics in the park
  • Occasional nights out with a cheap hotel(much more fun)
  • Give up fags for a week (instant £35.00 in pocket)
  • Midnight tequilas – wake up in the night for a party and a dance in the garden( He He! then go back to bed)
  • Listen to the dawn chorus (happens around 5 and 6 at my house then sleep till 7)
  • Long walks in the Summer collecting wild flowers and berries

Feel free to add to my list, I would love to share your ideas and experiences. momentus@talktalk.net

I look in the mirror after finding all my summer stuff, I am sure they shrink in the suitcases in the loft over winter! Everything feels so tight and dull! Ok, time to think positive, I just can’t rush out and buy new, so I have to work with what I have got! It’s time to exercise the body; treat myself to a new regime of fitness and diet. Get out the summer clothes and start re vamping!

I am sure I am not the only person in the possession of those little cookery books supplied by local supermarkets by some Australian Woman’s magazine that are titled “interesting things to do with chicken” and “3 minute meals”, “tapas” and “interesting salads”. I am sure if I get myself motivated I can start making some nice exciting meals that will keep me busy and trim.

Is it me or am I bored stiff with TV? I have decided to get back into reading. It will stimulate my mind, improve my vocabulary and depending on what I choose to read, I will learn, excite, relax, terrify, amuse, emotionally disturb and hopefully empower and motivate myself!

Do you have a diary or a personal journal? I recently discovered that by talking to yourself through a journal, it can be rewarding and inspiring; I have achieved so much more by sharing my true thoughts with myself (my journal) Does that make sense?

It’s amazing how I have realised that I don’t always need other people’s influences for example soaps, TV trivia celebrity gossip, media and politics to get on with my life. After all, my quest is unique to me – it’s my happiness – so what would they know about it anyway? Get scribbling! Just think…..you know what you’re talking about, and that is all that matters!

Once you start this writing journal, you will find that you start to crave other people’s views and opinions. What started out to be an observational exercise has become a topic of conversation and a means to invite other people’s recognition and evaluation. I become more interested in how I am to use this new found knowledge and convert it into something useful to better my life and my communication skills.

What have I learned about the “new me?”

I find myself making two lists, “old me” and “new me”. I list the benefits of the “new me” and identify how I can help “me” move forward to a better and more complete and satisfactory way of living. I am less compelled to follow everybody else in the monotonous churning out of cliché’s such as, “Oh well that’s

England for you” and “Nothing new there then!” and “That’s the way it is” and “It always happens to me!”

I suddenly want to rebel and say, “Why should it be that way then?” and “I’m not going to let that happen to me!” and “Watch this space then!” Now I will make it happen!

Staying focused on what I really want is one thing, but the formula has to include a massive amount of positivity.

Creating your own positivity is very do-able. Re framing the things you want and need to do, can defiantly help in this process. Having target rewards keep me focused. Tuning into positive reading and thinking and blocking out the negative media can help although I notice nearly everybody I meet points out in some form of negative agenda in part and parcel of their chatter. I met a shop assistant who told me that he had worked every day this week, he was knackered and his manager did not know what he was doing. Great! Thanks, I thought. Why do people feel the need to share that with you? Is this what our nation has really become? Can people not believe in their companies and jobs and not be proud of what they are doing anymore?

I have made a mental note and decided that I am not going to accept these comments anymore, it’s time to point it out and suggest they need coaching!
Sorry, rant over, on a positive note, I quite like the new me. I am independent, positively tuned, I have a content disposition and I am ready for action.

I am going to utilise the contents of my wardrobe and sell the things that don’t fit. I will reward myself for my achievements instead of rewarding myself for “bad days”. I have re-created myself image and more importantly, I will continue to do so to make life more interesting and more exciting.

Works for me, how about you? Your friend, Amanda Doyle momentus@talktalk.net

4 Responses to "The Ramblings Of A Professional Coach Part 2"

1 | Steven Harknett

June 3rd, 2009 at 10:54 am

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Lighten up would be my suggestion to you. You make it sound like a quest. Life does contain negativity have you not noticed? and for good reason life is hard. No amount of coaching and positive thinking is going to change it. To do so would be against a fundamental law of nature. I am tired of coaches who follow the lead of some others who insist that everyone knows what they want and that life is to planned exectuted measured and filled with positivity. Then when people fail as surely as they will that life isn’t like that then psychological damage follows. By then those chosen few who suggested it are tucked up in their ivory towers away from any accountability anyway.

Life isn’t all about you or your goals it is sometimes about nothing about pain about disappointment and many other things. By all means enjoy your planned route but do not for one second think that life is about just that.

2 | Barbara Cobbold

June 3rd, 2009 at 1:08 pm

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Hi Amanda,
That was a super honest approach to the new you! I really like the idea of writing a journal to log those thoughts , it is something I have been doing for some time, however I write them in the form of e mails sometimes addressed to myself and sometimes addressed to whoever it is I really want to say something to but am not sure how well it will be received!
I then store the emails in my drafts box and from time to time go back to them to check out how I ws feeling. I have found this tip particularly helpful at bedtime when I have a little niggle on my mind and I know it will stop me from sleeping. I just turn on the computer and write a letter to whoever and store it away. Somehow that simple act puts all those thoughts in order and deals with them and frees me up to get the sleep I so desperately need!
By just storing the email no-one gets hurt if the ramblings are unjust or unfair but in the morning when my mind is refreshed I have been known to post the emails on if I think it will help the situation move on.

Good tips too about the retail therapy, I have taken to sorting out my wardrobe and bagging up all my Marks and Spencer clothes for Oxfam and exchanging them for a gift voucher, that way I feel better because I have helped others with my cast offs and I have also been rewarded so can spend my voucher happily!

I hope that now you have passed your Diplomas the work is starting to come in and be attrtacted to the new image you are confisdently portraying!
Good luck

Barbara

3 | amanda doyle

June 7th, 2009 at 3:19 pm

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Hi Barbara,
Thanks for your suggestions, they are really helpful and worth adding to my tool kit. I am glad you enjoyed my fun article, Stephen, I am sorry if I offended you, It’s good to here your feedback, (or is that to possitive to say?) I have no intention of sitting in my “ivory tower” and watch people fall apart after trying some possitive motivation, that’s why I chose a careeer in coaching. I understand your thoughts and recognise and accept that there are some people that will always feel that way about us over enthusiastic, possitive people. Thanks for your comment, I am sure I can learn from it.
Yours sincerley
Amanda

4 | Pamela Asire-Isukali

June 15th, 2009 at 5:47 pm

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Hi Amanda

Like yourself, I am on the quest to storeup positivity and hence the choice to “face me”.

Actually for once, i am choosing to explore and ask the right questions which are not only unlocking but also empowering me to dare dream of starting up a school where positive thinking is explored and enjoyed.

This I am confident will help my community.

Be encouraged it is good to discover and make better of oneself.

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