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25 Oct, 2010

Your Ideal Life by Ebru Ulufer

Posted by: The Coaching Academy In: Coaching Articles|Life Coaching Articles|Personal Success

Your Ideal Life by Ebru Ulufer

Before you start thinking about your ideal work, dream job or a new career, the very first step you need to take is to describe your ideal life.

Ask yourself the following questions :

“What do I want my life to look like?”

“How would I like to spend my days?”

“What would my ideal life be like?”

It is extremely important to answer these questions before you evaluate various work options. For example, you might want to open a Bed&Breakfast but if you don’t like dealing with people, opening a B&B is a bad choice. If you love staying at home, working in an office where you need to spend 40 hours a week won’t make you happy. You need to make sure that the work you will choose fits into your ideal life.

Find a quiet place where you won’t be disturbed. Relax your body and mind. Take as much time as you need to write down your answers. Make sure to write with a sense of excitement and passion! If you don’t like writing, you can invite your friends over and describe your ideal life to them (Ask them to give you lots of encouragement!).

Don’t be held back for a moment by thoughts like “It’s not possible” ! Don’t censor; just let it flow. Imagine you are living each day to the fullest !

Here are some ideas to prompt you:

- Where do you see yourself living ? In a big city/small town/countryside ? Are you living in a warmer/colder climate ? Another city ? Another country ?

- What time do you get up in the morning ?

- Are you living on your own or with someone ? How many people are you living with ? Who are they ? How much time are you spending with them ?

- Do you have an active social life ?

- Do you want to be based in one place or travel ? How much travelling would you like to be doing ?

- Do you want to spend most of your time outside or do you prefer to stay at home ?

- Imagine it is a Tuesday in a year’s time. What are you doing from the moment you get up to the moment you go to bed ?

- What do you want to experience day to day ?

Create a multi-media picture of each aspect of your life and ask yourself, “Do I love what I see/hear/feel ?”

If not, you might be holding yourself back with limiting thoughts. Remove all limits and allow yourself to dream about the kind of life you want to live. Now, go back and do the same exercise. Do it again and again until you feel satisfied, inspired and excited about your life !

Only after you finish this exercise with a clear vision of what you want your life to look like, you can take the next steps to find your ideal work, the work that will allow you to have the life you really want.

By Ebru Ulufer

7 Responses to "Your Ideal Life by Ebru Ulufer"

1 | Tweets that mention Your Ideal Life by Ebru Ulufer - Coaching Blog -- Topsy.com

October 25th, 2010 at 2:23 pm

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[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Gerry Schroeder, Sue Courtney. Sue Courtney said: Your Ideal Life by Ebru Ulufer: Before you start thinking about your ideal work, dream job or a new career, the ve… http://bit.ly/c6hazJ [...]

2 | Susan Andrewes

October 26th, 2010 at 10:31 am

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This is a great article, Ebru. You’ve hit the nail on the head that you need to be able to fully visualise your ideal life and career before you can start setting any specific goals. As a career coach myself, I find that this is what produces the biggest ‘aha’ moments with my clients. Often, awareness of a simple value and lifestyle clash can make all the difference to a person’s job satisfaction. It’s so rewarding to be able to contribute to that awareness. Thanks again for a great article.

3 | Tweets that mention Your Ideal Life by Ebru Ulufer - Coaching Blog -- Topsy.com

October 26th, 2010 at 11:10 am

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[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Ebru Ulufer, The Coaching Academy. The Coaching Academy said: Your Ideal Life by Ebru Ulufer – http://bit.ly/aDpRuN [...]

4 | Tom Higgins

October 27th, 2010 at 10:18 pm

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Staying inside all the time can be an indicator of more complex problems within, such as low self esteem or some kind of fear.

5 | Cherry Douglas

October 28th, 2010 at 8:47 pm

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You are so right Ebru. It is such a shame that so many of us are conditioned to see work and the rest of life as two separate compartments. Work is just a sub-set of the whole of our lives and if we want our working lives to change, we need to understand how it fits in to a wider context. There is no reason why the boundaries between work and non-work should not be blurred. If you love your work, then going to work = going out to play! And yes, that is OK, it is allowed!
So staring by creating a compelling vision of the bigger picture of your life is a great way to make a start on transforming your career.

Cherry

6 | Frans Bakker

October 29th, 2010 at 1:47 pm

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Way to go Ubru; we tend to look at our lives from a limited and (often) problematic point of vieuw. In my practice of Healing Coaching it is key that we lead a person to what I call ‘the Bright room’, where they tell me about an experience where they felt completely Free of all problems and contractions. Everybody knows that ‘place’ where you are already Happy and Free. Then….from that place….what would you life look like; you work, your relationships, etc.

From this non problematic stance you can easily see that your current life is not based on all that and you can discover why that is so. All the old patterns that keep you in place and cloud you dream. Why going on with that? Why not change NOW.

7 | Ebru Ulufer

November 19th, 2010 at 2:08 pm

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Thank you for your input dear Susan, Tom, Cherry and Frans.

I would like to add that the phrase “work-life balance” is very unfortunate because it presupposes that:

1) there is a clear seperation between our life and the work we do,
2) we just “tolerate” work to enjoy life.

The truth is, our work enables us to make our unique contribution to the world and it is an important part of our life. If we are miserable at work, we are going to be unhappy in the rest of our life too.

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