Pam Lidford, The Coaching Academy trainer has been an integral part of the tutor team for a number of years, presenting Accelerator days as part of the Personal Performance Coaching Diploma, Youth Impact Coaching Diploma and the CPD for Coaches program. We’ve put her on the coaching hotseat to answer your questions:-

If you want to attract more clients, I recommend:

If you want to attract more clients, start believing that you will.  Handle any negative mind chatter, overcome any challenges around charging and asking for payment, gather testimonials and share them with new prospective clients.  Start asking for what you want, in the nicest possible way.  Are you already listening to friends, family, colleagues and then asking them questions to help them with their goals and challenges?  If so, and they are getting results, ask them who they know who might be interested in having you do the same for them for a fee.

My best advice for marketing your coaching business is:

My best advice for marketing your coaching business is networking.  I recommend you let people know what you do!  Sounds obvious but you might be surprised how many fantastic, skilled coaches are hiding their talents too shy to chat about coaching when they are out and about.

People probably don’t know that:

People probably don’t know that I am a classic romantic (Ann Skidmore told me that!)

My favourite self-development book is: 

My favourite self-development book is the Monk Who Sold His Ferrari

The most inspiring speaker I have ever heard is:

The most inspiring speaker I have ever heard is Tony Robbins

If I was alone on a desert island, I would need to have (three luxuries that don’t include family members, pets or friends) with me:

If I was alone on a desert island, I would need to have (three luxuries that don’t include family members, pets or friends) with me: my laptop, shade and lots of water.

My favourite place in the world is…:

My home.

The most unusual thing I have ever done is:

The most unusual thing I have ever done is jumped off a telegraph pole! (I did have a harness on at the time)

My definition of success is:

Being in the moment whilst working towards what I want.  I get clear about how I would like things to be in an area of my life, then I visualise the outcome I desire (just for a few seconds each day for say a week), then I trust it will happen whilst taking regular and consistent actions towards it.  The real success is being present and  enjoying the moment whether I’m working, being with my family or friends, reading or learning something new.

Whale Done! The Power of Positive Relationships

I have long been a fan of the One Minute Manager series that Ken Blanchard is most famous for, and am rather disappointed that Whale Done dishes up a refried version of Blanchard’s now famous wisdom.

This time our narrator is Wes Kingsley, and Blanchard uses training Sea World animals as the theme, drawing the comparison between co-workers and family in the analogy.

The essence of the book is about channelling misdirection and reframing misguided energy more creatively, explaining the difference between Gotcha! and Whale Done! (the former being catching people doing the wrong thing, the latter catching people doing the right thing).

The book describes fundamental tenets of building rapport and supporting change behaviour. College training covers the points raised in more depth and with more eloquence. The book’s use for coaching practice I would then suggest is limited.

Ken’s style is catchy, and despite the fundamental principles being covered in his other books, the book is a good read, and a strong reminder of how to encourage change.

Having had the book passed on to me, I have continued the chain and have given my copy to a friend, whose family behaves much like the analogous family in the book. Hopefully, she will take the bait!

If you find people glazing over at networking events when you tell them “I’m a coach“, you haven’t found your coaching niche. When you find it, and you tell people what you do, their eyes will light up and they’ll say “That’s me! I need some of that!” or at least “I know someone else who needs some of that!”. And you’ll get work as a result.

Many coaches have heard of the benefits of clearly defining their coaching niche, and yet so many are afraid to narrow down the group of people they work with, for fear of losing potential work. Well here are 4 good reasons why defining your niche will get you more, not less work.:

1. If you want clients, you need a marketing strategy. This means you need to build relationships with potential clients, and if you try to appeal to everybody, you’ll appeal to no one. Once you identify the group of people you want to work with, and the problems they have, they’ll say “that’s me!” when they hear you talk, or see your marketing material. And you’ve taken the first step in building the relationship.

2.  You want potential clients to take action after they read your website, or other marketing material. If you can demonstrate you’re an expert in their problem, they’re far more likely to answer your call to action if they feel you are the best person to help them. You can’t be an expert in everything, choose your niche area and become “the xxx coach”

3. If you know who you want to attract, you can start to go where they go, and this means you can find out what their problems are, and start to provide solutions that they need, NOT what you think they want ( a common mistake made by so many coaches).

4. Once you define your niche, do some research and check it’s a viable one: if you get this right then marketing becomes easy. And who doesn’t want that?

There are so many good reasons to define your coaching niche and not a single one I can think of not to. So have a brainstorm, get some ideas down on paper, and make the decision to decide on yours.

By Nic Bird

Dawn Harvey, The Coaching Academy trainer is part of the Small Business Coaching Tutor team and we’ve put her on the coaching hotseat to answer your questions:-

1. My favourite coaching question is…

There are so many great questions.  I don’t have an absolute favourite.  One that I like a lot, that’s useful in giving an instant sense of perspective is, “In the bigger scheme of things, how important is this to you?”

2. The question that often elicits a breakthrough or ‘aha’ moment is…

There are two that spring to mind here: a) “What are you assuming here?” and b) “Where are you limiting yourself?”

For example , I was working with the owner of a very small business who had, had good success with a very small market and was now looking to expand to a larger more financially lucrative market with the product.

D.H. “Let’s brainstorm the different market options open to you.”
A.B. “I’m feeling so stuck with this, I don’t think I can.”
D.H. “What does ‘stuck’ feel like to you?”
A.B. “It’s like I’m stamping on my brakes really hard.”
D.H. “As you stamp on your brakes, what are some of the assumptions you’re making about your options?”
A.B. “People won’t see this as important.  People won’t pay for it. It will cost more than people can afford. I’m assuming people don’t have the money for this.”
D.H. “Let me check I understand what you are saying here.  You are assuming that… Is that correct?”
A.B. “Yes, but when you say it like that I can see I’m making lots of assumptions with no evidence to back it up.”
D.H. “So what does that tell you.”
A.B. “That I’m putting up my own barriers.”
D.H. “So where are you limiting yourself?”
A.B. “By not believing in the value of what I offer. But more than that I’m limiting myself by not really believing I can do this.”

This was the “aha” moment that released the brakes in this session.  Once the limiting beliefs were dealt with A.B. went on the brainstorm new markets and decided on two to pursue further.

3. What advice would you give for dealing with a challenging coaching situation?

I work with many ‘action orientated’ people who often want results fast.  This can lead to them wanted answers from me rather than doing the work to find their own answers.  If this potential problem has not been addressed in the initial intake or relationship design session it can lead to a breakdown in the relationship.
I prevent this happening by always making sure this is addressed head on and upfront with a new client.  If my potential client is not happy with my non-directive approach than I may not be the right coach for them.

4. What is your top selling business tip?

My top business building tip is:

• It’s crucial to continue to market your services when you ARE busy.
• If you want to attract more clients, I recommend
• Get yourself out there!  Attend networking events, write pieces for your local paper.
• Talk to everyone about what you do – you never know who they know.
• Make a list of dream clients and tell people that you are looking for introductions to these people – again, you don’t know who knows who.
• Don’t be afraid to pick the phone up and call people.
• My best advice for marketing your coaching business is
• Ask for testimonials and make sure potential clients see them.

5. People probably don’t know that I…

Have written a novel.

6. My favourite self-development book is:

Eckhart Toll – “The Power of Now” because it happens to be my current read and although it’s a little ‘out there’ in places it resonates with something deep inside me.  It’s about being fully present in the moment.  The less you strive for fulfilment, the more fulfilment will find you. The best coaching book I have ever read is Myles Downey ‘Effective Coaching’ because it’s one of the first coaching books I ever read and it got me hooked.

7. The most inspiring speaker I have ever heard is:

Oprah Winfrey – because she has overcome many obstacles in her life to be the success she is but mainly because she walks her talk.

8. If I was alone on a desert island, I would need to have (three luxuries that don’t include family members, pets or friends) with me:

• A very large book
• Sunscreen
• Shampoo

9. My favourite place in the world is…

On top of a hill in the middle of nowhere on a bright, breezy day because when I’m out walking in the fresh air I feel totally recharged and energised.

10. The most unusual thing I have ever done is…

Not necessarily unusual but certainly rather embarrassing – a ran 5k for charity with my underwear on top of my clothes.

11. My definition of success is:

Freedom to make my own choices.

12. The thing I most love about coaching is…

The coaching process is incredibly empowering and I love the portability and adaptability of it. A coaching intervention that makes a huge difference can take place very informally as part of a conversation and the skills to do this are transferable to all aspects of business, work and life.

Life Coach Jenifer Harper shares her thoughts on why, NOW, at the age of 70, she decided to take up the idea of becoming a Professional Coach…

Dear Kris 

Just some thoughts, some more connected than others, on why, NOW, I decided to take up the idea of being a Professional Coach. 

First thought:  the Free Two Day course attracted me because I was, just past 70, at yet another point of change and thought I could use what was on offer to realign and focus some of my urgent options that were still a bit hazy and indeed felt overwhelming.   There isn’t a point at which life stops offering choices, or barriers, and it’s daft to get old without getting crafty.  It takes better technique to cope with obstacles and after a rather long life planning mostly for others it seemed a good point to spend some of that thinking-time on me. 

So I came along just for the stimulation, to pick up some tips, but the revelation over the two days was that here was something I recognised as already potentially in place.  In the exercises we did together, in twos, or threes,  I got such positive feedback from my fellow potential coaches that I thought, “Yes, this is using stuff I’ve done, or experienced, in a new, fresh way, that lets me support and stimulate others without having to go over, or even refer to, my personal life experience.”  I have absolutely no experience at all of business but one of the exercises, working on someone’s business plan, showed me how powerful the GROW method is, and how even in unpractised hands it can clearly work, and help.   

Not all of us more senior students have boundless energy and fitness and one of the most powerful side-effects of working through the study materials, the DVDs and the Accelerator Days, has been a huge boost of positivity.  This comes from recognising how much of the thinking chimes in with parts of one’s life that one has, frankly, forgotten, or never properly evaluated.  We just don’t give ourselves enough credit; achievements can slide out of mind, and one of the most attractive elements of coaching for me is the joy of reflecting back to someone else just how much he or she has already done, and can do.  It’s good to be listened to attentively by someone without any agenda save that of coaching you to use your own capacities to the full and achieve that dream.  

Have I mentioned that it is also fun?  And that I can do it sitting down?  And that the Coaching Academy, like my fellow aspiring coaches, seems totally age-blind?  

True, there is a great deal to study and absorb, and put into practice, as there should be when preparing to lend a hand with someone else’s life and dreams.  It’s a serious job with so much potential, and other coaches are generous with their time both as Coach and Coachee.  I think what I enjoy most is the feeling of doing something useful that looks forward to success, for my client, of course, and deep satisfaction for me. 

I hadn’t expected to find a niche that feels such a good fit and also offers a realistic opportunity for varied work on a professional basis. 

Jenifer Harper

As a sought after speaker and workshop facilitator, Mike Blissett has worked in the UK and Europe, and has also helped train thousands of new coaches in his position as trainer with The Coaching Academy. His unique style, wit and intuitive knowledge of the human psyche has helped many hundreds of people develop better ways of working together, as well as living a more fulfilling life themselves.

 Mike shares his top 5 Coaching Questions:-

If you want to attract more clients, I recommend:

Meet as many people in the area you want to coach in as possible. Network, join groups and organisations, take part in forums, debates, accept invitations to presentations, and be proactive with any online marketing and social media you’re interested in. Two great nuggets of advice I was given several years ago and by which I run my business are:

1. ‘People buy people before they buy products and services.’ This means, at some level and to a certain degree, future potential clients need to ‘get’ who you are first before they buy coaching. You can build your profile up face-to-face, or via a regular newsletter or Blog, Twitter, Facebook, Linked-In, and all the other amazing online tools out there nowadays.

2. ‘People buy from people they know, like and trust’ – and it’s the last point, ‘trust’ that can take a while, which is why being a regular networker, attender of events, speaker, or social media writer can make such a difference. Simply, when people get to know you or your articles, when they need a coach they’ll automatically think of you rather than search the internet for other coaches they don’t yet know.

My best advice for marketing your coaching business is:

As above, and also sooner rather than later devise your own marketing strategy/plan. Many businesses have a business plan, though far fewer think about marketing as an on-going development area for growing their business. The more you diarize and book appointments with yourself to update your Blog, website, newsletter, send out those letters of introduction, follow-up on emails and phone calls the better results you’ll see. Planning and running your coaching practice as an efficient, well-oiled business is as important as having great coaching skills and working with clients to get great results.  

People probably don’t know that:

I used to play the trombone at Music College and in an orchestra.

My favourite self-development book is:

There are thousands, though the two that changed my life at the right time were:

• ‘Take Charge of Your Life’ by Louis Proto, 1988. Living in Lincolnshire, working full time and singing in a band, I read this book and three weeks later moved to London ready to begin building the life I really wanted.
• ‘Be Your Own Life Coach’ by Fiona Harrold, 2001. In January 2003 I read this book, and 3 weeks later at the beginning of February was sat in my first Coaching Academy Certificate training weekend having decided to be a coach. Fiona’s style is no-nonsense and directive, and I am very much a non-directive coach – though most importantly, her book showed me a light, it sparked my imagination and got me moving in the right direction. Fiona became a good personal friend, and I’m so grateful her book shouted, ‘buy me, buy me’ that day in the bookshop.

The most inspiring speaker I have ever heard is:

Topher Morrison – he’s a brilliant motivational speaker, and also happened to be my trainer in Clinical Hypnotherapy and Sport Hypnosis. I find him authentic, fun, full of life and totally absorbing to listen to. His thirst for life is infectious.  

If I was alone on a desert island, I would need to have (three luxuries that don’t include family members, pets or friends) with me:

1. My iPhone – not just for the phone, internet, diary etc., but also the apps – especially Scrabble, which I play every time I’m on the tube in London. As someone who used to be bottom of the class and get maybe 1 or even zero out of ten for spelling tests at primary school, I’ve come a long way and have currently won 88% of all scrabble games played against the computer on my iPhone (171 games and counting) – I’m so proud!

2. Books, all types of books. I got out of the habit for several years, until last year included ‘must read an hour a day’ on my wheel of life. I alternate personal development books and thrillers, and yesterday bought Dan Brown’s ‘The Lost Symbol’ before training on the Certificate in Personal Coaching event in Brighton.

3. My Sony Vaio laptop. I love to write, Blog, Twitter, add articles for my website, watch movies (including the brilliant ‘Invictus’ on the train to Manchester a few weeks ago). PS: Are power sockets and the internet included as ‘standard’, or would they be listed as 2 extra ‘luxuries’ on the Island? I think I need to see the Desert Island contract before I sign…

My favourite place in the world is:

New York – they don’t say it twice by coincidence, it’s required…and it is THAT good. I have distant family there, some good friends, loads of happy memories (and some I’d sooner forget). A truly special place.

The most unusual thing I have ever done is:

Taken part in an observed coaching session with a 15^th century street urchin in full tatty close, no shoes and dirty face garb (him, not me), as part of a Royal Shakespeare Company season by Spanish playwright Cervantes that had been translated into old Shakespeare style English. People paid to sit in the auditorium and listen to our encounter on stage. Originally I was invited to Stratford-upon-Avon to do this, and then a few months later when the season transferred to London was asked to repeat the exercise. It was unscripted, slightly scary, loads of fun, and the actors that played the part of the street urchin where very generous and supportive working with me. Phew!

My definition of success is:

Being able to do what we love to do, and to be successful enough so that it enables us to carry on doing it. I call that ‘being blessed’.

The thing I most love about coaching is:

The people. Maybe it’s a bit of a cliché, but everyone is different and has a unique connection with the world. No two clients are alike. For me, it keeps coaching fresh, exciting, cutting edge, and ever evolving. Plus, at the end of the process to hear a client say, ‘thank you, this/you made a difference’ is the bit that’s worth more than money. So, just to say again, in one word; people.

Striving to be a professional Coach involves maintaining your continuous professional development (CPD). The Coaching Academy are proud to have developed the CPD for Coaches 10 individual CPD for Coaches Days designed to enhance your professional development.

Many people seek out a coach to help them with personal and professional confidence, either in a private or corporate setting. This workshop has been created to equip you with a set of tools to help you confidently deal with these situations.

• Self-esteem v self-confidence; the differences and how they impact on self-belief and goals
• Helping clients to recognise their limiting beliefs
• Helping clients to recognise their empowering beliefs
• Helping clients to change their limiting beliefs
• Helping clients to use their empowering beliefs
• Success and how it impacts on confi dence
• Perception and focus
• Anchoring and its use
• Creating tools and exercises to move clients forward

With just a small investment in the CPD for Coaches Days, you will be among the top few percent of coaches who continually update and add to their skills.

You can register for the programme at the same time as registering for your Diploma course and you can attend the CPD for Coaches days at the same time as your Diploma Accelerator Days.

Just call the office on 0208 4399 440 or email info@the-coaching-academy.com

Duncan Gee, The Coaching Academy trainer as part of the Youth Impact Coaching Diploma and creator of “The M.A.G.I.C Programme” shares his top 5 Coaching Questions:-

If you want to attract more clients, I recommend,

I used to say you can coach in all areas. Yes you can, however if you find a niche you can market yourself better and become a specialist in that area. Join a business building breakfast club. Be proud of your profession and have an elevator speech ready when you speak to people about your service.

My best advice for marketing your coaching business is

Be authentic is my best piece of advice. I have met people that aren’t being themselves and it stands out a mile. Never miss an opportunity to tell people what you do. Local magazines are always looking for people to spotlight.

People probably don’t know that

I am a keen cyclist and I will be doing a ride for the charity ‘bully free zone’ next year from Northwest England to the Southwest of France - approx 1200 miles.

My favourite self-development book is

‘What matters most’ by Hyrum W Smith. 

The most inspiring speaker I have ever heard is

‘Secret Habits of Successful Bastards’ Adrian Maile and Melissa Roskell.  

If I was alone on a desert island, I would need to have (three luxuries that don’t include family members, pets or friends) with me:

A fishing rod, case of wine, fire lighters.

My favourite place in the world is…

India - the Hindu people are friendly, kind and have no egos.

The most unusual thing I have ever done is

 Nipping behind a tree in Norway for a discreet pee and the cliff giving way, not discreet anymore! – 100ft down cut bruises and broken leg.

My definition of success is:

People often say it will be OK when we get there. It is knowing where ‘there’ is and what you are happy with that will define success. Once you have reached where you want to be in life it is about enjoying every minute of it.   

The thing I most love about coaching is

Seeing people move to self empowerment mode – truly awesome!

Kris Robertson, UK’s leading Coach Mentor/Supervisor and Operations Director of The Coaching Academy shares his top 5 Coaching Questions:-

 1.  What else? 

For me probably THE most powerful of questions.  The beauty is both in its simplicity and the suggestion in the question that there IS something else.  Far more powerful than the closed version ”Is there anything else?” which I often hear on practical assessment calls.  The difference simply that the ‘What’ prompts the brain to search and find, whereas the ‘Is there’ results in either a ‘Yes’ or a ‘No’, often with very little need for thought.  Repetition of this question yields the best results. 

2.  If you could wave a magic wand? 

A fantastic way to bypass any obstacles the client may have in mind when considering the options available to them.  Great for clients who often edit their options or who struggle thinking of a range of different possible ways to approach their goal. 

3.  Tell me about a time in which you have completed something similar to this before. 

A great question to help the client identify the strategies they have used previously which have been successful from which you can then ask ‘What went well?’, ‘What did you learn as a result of this?’, ‘How might you go about things differently this time?’ etc.  Really useful to help your client identify the evidence that they have that they CAN be successful this time.  Avoid closing this question down by asking ‘Have you ever…?’ 

4.  What will be the impact of things staying the same? 

A challenging question which helps your client consider the implications of not taking any action.  Helping raise their awareness and increase their motivation to take action in order to avoid the consequences of inertia.  Also a useful question to ask as occasionally it helps a client realise that actually, they don’t want the outcome they have suggested enough, or they are content with their current situation.

 5.  What have you learned from this session? 

I always think it is a positive and professional way to end a coaching session with a ‘wisdom-accessing’ question along these lines.  Plus, as an assumptive, it suggests that the client HAS learned something.  For me, it then makes it far easier to finish by asking for a referral or booking my client in for a further package of coaching sessions once they have had an opportunity to talk through the fantastic outcomes they have taken away from the session. 

Happy Coaching!

Mark Lane seeks advice on selling your goods and services to potential customers with help from Chamber members. As a junior journalist working on trade magazine more than a decade ago, I was once asked to accompany one of the advertising sales team -let’s call him Jeremy – on a ‘pitch’ to a prospective client – who we shall call Mr X.

This was, potentially, a major booking and it was hoped that my presence – a member of the editorial team – would show Mr X how serious we were about his business.
We arrived at Mr X’s office and Jeremy began a long and rambling pitch as to whyMr X should book a series of adverts with the magazine. Ten minutes in, Mr X began to
look bored. He tried to chip in with some questions but Jeremy evaded them. He clearly had his own agenda and wasn’t going to budge from it. Sensing this, Mr X switched
off completely. Then, after 15 minutes, he sat up, called an abrupt halt to the meeting, and asked us both to leave. Bizarrely, Jeremy continued with his presentation, seemingly oblivious to outside interference. Eventually, in what was one of the more surreal incidents of my publishing career, myself and Mr X had to usher Jeremy out the door, virtually man-handling him.

Now, I’m a writer by trade but even I know there are better ways of pitching to a client than this. In the pressure to earn his commission, Jeremy broke every rule in the book. But how could he have handled this situation differently? And more generally, what is the most effective way of making a lasting impression on a client or audience?

Heather Martin is a business development executive with Datek Solutions. They provide Synergy services in the UK. Like many companies, she uses Thames Valley Chamber events regularly as means of marketing her company. She says: “We use effective networking as part of our overall sales and marketing strategy. “However, giving an effective and memorable pitch at any networking event takes planning and practice. The biggest temptation is to always try to say too much – ignoring the often unwritten rule of exceeding the time allowance. This is unfair on the other contributors who have complied with this request – but can also backfire since it looks unprofessional and the audience in my experience, just switches off.”

Offering her own advice on making an effective pitch, Heather says: “I try to make my pitch memorable and sometimes even entertaining. The use of a prop is good, and always a help. It could be an up to date and accurate statistic, or a newsworthy topic that can link to your business product/service. Wherever possible, and appropriate you should incorporate a call to action. Most of all, you have to be yourself and be comfortable in the style which comes most naturally to you.”

To go back to our friend Jeremy for a moment, the biggest mistake he made for me was being completely oblivious to his client. Now he may well have taken this to extremes but this issue – the one of not really attempting to understand your audience – is a common mistake.

Ian Hewitt, a business development partner at Vantis, stresses the importance of researching your audience. “Know their likes and dislikes and tailor your presentation accordingly; for instance, not everyone loves PowerPoint,” he says. “Be flexible and adapt to client/prospect feedback during the pitch.”

Ian also suggests that AVpresentations are kept short and relevant to the client/prospect. “Give examples your audience can relate to,” he says. Ian’s suggestion on keeping things short and relevant is, in essence, textbook marketing. In an era when we all have so much information fighting for our attention, a long, rambling presentation will soon have an audience looking at their watch or taking a few sneaky glances at their Blackberries.

With this in mind Tim Holton, marketing manager with Uniq Systems, makes the case for the ‘elevator pitch.” He says: “In these times of potential information overload it is essential that sales messages are concise and resonant. The apocryphal tale of the shared elevator ride with the CEO presenting a chance for the enterprising person to present their credentials is now more relevant than ever. “Indeed the ‘elevator pitch’ becomes increasingly important when it is used as the basis of understanding for the entire value proposition. Chunking messages into manageable amounts so that they remain pertinent and important to the audience is the pre-requisite whether that is through face to face contact, marketing collateral or the various forms of presentation media and social networking channels.”

Okay, then. We’ve spoken of the need to understand your audience and to put over your message succinctly and in a palatable format. But how do you really engage with them – how do you grab their attention and keep it? How do you differentiate your business in a competitive field?

Performance coach Patrick Bird suggests engagement is key. Engagement, he argues, is as much about the delivery as the message itself. Let’s turn this question around then. How can you tell if your audience is becoming disengaged?

Patrick, a body language expert, says: “[a disengaged audience] will manifest itself in a number of ways; looking out of the window, checking their Blackberry, folded arms, crossed legs, hands moving to the face and head showing signs of frustration. Watch out for clusters of gestures that mean the audience are disengaged, folded arms may just mean they are cold!”

Finally, then, in terms of steps that can be taken to engage an audience, Patrick says: “Take a purposeful, upright and open stance; if you are going to use a gesture make it count, no loose hands or unnecessary movements that detract from your message. “Speak from the heart and not from the slides. Remember not to turn your back on the audience. Breathing from the diaphragm will help support your voice and changes in tone. “Be aware of signs that the audience are engaged through the questions they ask; the nodding of heads in agreement to points,  relaxed open body language – and, of course, a smile.”